If you look at the world, you’ll be distressed. If you look within, you’ll be depressed. But if you look at Christ, you’ll be at rest.— Corrie Ten Boom
If you want God's grace, all you need is need, all you need is nothing. But that kind of spiritual humility is hard to muster. We come to God saying, "Look at all I've done," or maybe "Look at all I've suffered." God, however, wants us to look to him - to just wash.— Timothy Keller
In our fast-paced generation, we expect prompt response and immediate gratification in our pursuits. Everything is urgent and if we can't get what we want when we want it, we do everything within our power to make it happen. For many of us, it's uncomfortable being in the passenger position on this journey of life because we would rather prefer that we were in control of life's steering wheel. But our lives are deeply intertwined with a billion other creatures' and only the Grand designer who dwells in eternity can fit all the intricate details together to fulfill His master plan.
Striving is trying to use our effort, hard work, skill, strategy, human reasoning and logic, quick schemes to get what God intends to give as a gift. We know that the blessing of the Lord makes rich (bring increase of every kind) and adds no sorrow. Yet, we toil and sweat to get increase in many aspects in our lives and end up with sorrow because we cannot really enjoy them. Many a times, the more we strive for something, the more it appears to evade us. Sincerely ask yourself, how many things you strove for ended up giving you the satisfaction you desired? Even wise king Solomon after his thorough search of the mysteries came to the conclusion that everything is vanity.
I once dreamt that a friend was pregnant but I wondered about the dream's significance because she was unmarried then. Against my initial impression to caution her outrightly, I thought it wiser to dialogue and see what she makes of the dream and where the conversation lands. To my surprise, she yelled a big "Amen" when I shared this. She explained that pregnancy was the main condition on which her current boyfriend would agree to marry her as he wanted to be sure she's capable of having children. So, against her convictions, she kept doing everything possible to make this happen for years, but she was only chasing the wind. After many years of 'courtship', they broke up. They wanted to follow their own way to get what they wanted - one a child, the other a marriage - but the good Lord knew their hearts and frustrated their agenda.
Have you ever been in a position where you intended to do something for someone only to be thronged with incessant requests and complaints? Or, how do you feel when someone flaws your gift or surprise plan by finding or taking the gift ahead of time, without your consent? Inasmuch as the person possesses the gift regardless, the pleasure and delight that both the giver and recipient could experience is lost. You may even risk losing the connection you share over this act or item that was intended to express care and deepen your bond. Worse still, the nature of goodness that you would have wanted to manifest may be flawed by annoyance or anger.
In accessing God's blessings too, we often confuse "receiving" and "getting" but these are very different approaches. In the first, we patiently wait for God to extend of His own will, in His own way, in His own time because we trust Him. In the second, we attempt to take what God has planned for us at our own will, in our own way, based on our own understanding of time. The experience and end results of these two approaches differ greatly. On one hand, we get to appreciate the goodness of our loving Father in giving us what we need, when we need it and our connection with Him deepens: we get twice blessed with delight in the Giver and the gift. On the other hand, we become preoccupied with our strategy to the point where our peace is lost in the process and the gift gives less pleasure because we can't revel in it with the giver.
What steps have you taken so far in trying to have a child? How far are you willing to achieve this dream? Will you cross certain boundaries of your faith if it could lead to attaining this much desired gift? Are you compromising on your relationship with God in your quest to get a child? Are you trying to help God? Maybe we can take a cue from Abraham and Sarah's lives. In their day, it was culturally acceptable to give servants to a spouse to bear children on one's behalf. However, when they tried to help God fulfill his promise by adopting the logical methods of their day, they sowed a seed of contention that has unfolded among two people groups for millennia and flawed the beauty of the blessing God intended.
Desperation can be a tool for good when rightly harnessed but when it grows in a heart devoid of trust in God, it can undermine God's plans, destroy relationships and wreak much havoc. Take Rachel's case in Genesis 30, for instance. When she saw that she wasn’t having any children for Jacob, she became jealous of her sister. She "pleaded with Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” Then Jacob became furious with Rachel. “Am I God?” he asked. “He’s the one who has kept you from having children!” (verse 1 and 2, NLT). Her mounting of undue pressure led to emotional outbursts from the man who loved her so much that he would work fourteen years to have her. With the strong force of jealousy at work, she sought creative solutions to solve her problem.
Then Rachel told him, “Take my maid, Bilhah, and sleep with her. She will bear children for me, and through her I can have a family, too.” So Rachel gave her servant, Bilhah, to Jacob as a wife, and he slept with her. Bilhah became pregnant and presented him with a son. Rachel named him Dan, for she said, “God has vindicated me! He has heard my request and given me a son.” Then Bilhah became pregnant again and gave Jacob a second son. Rachel named him Naphtali, for she said, “I have struggled hard with my sister, and I’m winning!” (verse 3-8).
The names she gave these two children revealed her heart. The goal of childbearing had turned into a self-validation contest and she was striving to win. She was trying to prove God's approval on her life by her own methods but this only widened the gulf between her and Leah. Soon enough, Leah got caught in the competition too and her insecurities heightened. Though she had already gotten four children, she lost sight of her blessings and followed Rachel's trail by giving her servant to Jacob too. When she named the first child of her servant Gad, she was now realizing how fortunate she was (see verse 11, NLT). But was she not already fortunate? The next child she called Asher saying "What joy is mine! Now others will celebrate with me." Do you see what is ensuing here. Her source of joy was not God, the giver, but the gift. She was the focal point of celebration, not the God who gave the child.
A woman's desperation had set a process in motion, drawing many others into a contest that ended up glorifying them. May I please ask: what is your heart really after and for what purpose do you want a child? To be respected by your in-laws? To be celebrated by friends and loved ones? To be vindicated that you're not barren? These objectives are not bad in themselves but if they displace the ultimate focus of glorifying God, then you're striving rather than trusting. If your heart does not find its proper objective of seeking to honour and glorify God, then you risk finding alternatives that do not align with His purposes and timing.
All this while, it seemed as though God was just waiting for Rachel to run out of options. The contest she was winning was now turning and Leah was the ultimate winner of her game by the end of verse 21. Then, when her human logic and tactics had proved insufficient, and when she least expected it, verse 22 kicks opens: "
Then God remembered Rachel’s plight and answered her prayers by enabling her to have children. She became pregnant and gave birth to a son. “God has removed my disgrace,” she said. And she named him Joseph, for she said, “May the Lord add yet another son to my family.” (Genesis 30:22-24)".
Rachel learnt the lesson that we all learn at some point in life when our strength and weapons fail to give us victory - that promotion, elevation, increase, lifting, honour, breakthrough comes from God and God alone. How much did Rachel contribute to the event in verse 22? She had no hand in it: it was all divinely orchestrated. When it is His time, He does it effortlessly. Beloved, the wait to obtaining your promise might have been long overdue per your schedule but rest assured that you are not forgotten. Jesus made it emphatically clear that no detail in your life is missed by God. I believe God does not 'remember' because He forgets at some point. No! For me, this expression only means what He had always planned now comes to the forefront of His agenda - it becomes an obvious expression of His mind for you.
Like Rachel, you will not only testify that God has removed your disgrace. You will also recognize that He is the only one capable of adding any good thing to your life. After she experienced God's goodness at the appointed time, her expectation then rested not in her schemes or plots but in God. From Joseph's name, we see her confidence and expectation for another child was in God alone. May this be your testimony too as you cease from your own works and trust solely in God. Let doctors do what they have been called to do by running their tests and giving their expert opinions and recommendations. But place your trust ultimately in the God who can overturn their reports and show you great mercy. Let Him show you how to release the burdens of efforts and find rest in Him.
The busyness of life often deprives us of the benefit of rest. For many of us, rest has become an option rather than the necessity God designed it to be. From the very beginning, He determined that we start from a place of rest - His Sabbath - because that is where we draw strength to do meaningful work that truly satisfies. Thankfully, we have not been left alone in this struggle for rest. Jesus invites us to come and learn of Him so that we can find rest for our souls (Matthew 11:28-29).
What do we learn from Christ? We learn how to live like sons of God. The position of rest is recognizing that we are sons and daughters before we do what we have been called to do. Most of the world believes they have to do something in order to have something so they can be something. That is not how we were originally designed. In God’s design, we are already something in Him, so we have everything, and then can do anything. We are in a covenant relationship with the Father as sons and daughters. We have an inheritance which includes all we need to fulfill God's pleasure and realize every blessing including children.
Resting is learning to allow God to fight for you as you focus on His ability and wisdom. In the place of rest, nothing is done with the aim to woo him for a reward. Rather, we place confidence in His love and trust that His goodness and mercy will bring us His very best. And as we enter God's rest and cease from our labours, we begin to experience increase and growth. Like Sarah, Rachel, Hannah, as you cease striving and start resting in the Lord, you will be divinely enabled to receive His gift.
Scripture Reading:
Psalm 46:10, Genesis 27: 2-4